stabbed

The post that I made yesterday got me into serious trouble at work so I have deleted it. Four people complained about it - that means there's people that I'm "friends" with that just stabbed me in the back. If you still want to know my side of the story, send me a message and I'll let you know.

New favorite blogs

I have recently stumbled upon two blogs that I really like the first one being http://hauntstyle.blogspot.com/ As you can tell by the title, it has to do with creepy "images, ideas, instructions, and information for people who live for Halloween, or just want to add some creepiness to their lives". I do caution those of you who have weak stomachs or active imaginations to be wary while you look at the things on this blog.

The other blog that I discovered is http://www.lisafremontpages.blogspot.com/ She does vintage hair tutorials and other fun things that I'm really into. I also found her on Facebook, just type in Lisa Freemont Street and she has a YouTube channel too. I'm really glad I stumbled upon two blogs that *specialize* in two my most favorite things :D I hope you enjoy

not so bad but still

so today a coworker of mine told me that he wouldn't be in because an injury to his knee. When I walked into work the managers were having a meeting in the back. Then I looked to see who else I'd be working with, there was my manager and....me. Aw crap! I thought. After a managers meeting everyone is in a bad mood and then it was just gonna be the two of us - tonight's gonna suck! Then around 3:15 another coworker showed up & I was really surprised and looked at the schedule again. The morning schedule is highlighted in yellow and the night shift in pink but hers wasn't highlighted at all so I didn't even see it. Needless to say I was VERY grateful for that! Then after the meeting was over my manager came over and told us that we had a secret shopper on Saturday (I wasn't there because it was my birthday) and that we didn't do so well. So there is going to be a 5 pillar inspection on either the 23rd or 24th and that EVERYONE will be scheduled those days. *rolls eyes* The last one we had, we had a health inspection too AND it was Red Flag! Most ridiculous day EVER! Oh that also reminds me; another ridiculous thing that's going on is that we're supposed to learn the ranks of the officers in both the Air Force AND Army. I think this is absolutely retarded because we aren't owned by the government and I KNOW for a fact that they (the Airmen & Army men)DON'T CARE! I said from the start, why can't we treat them all with respect and call them 'Sir' or 'Mame'? So we had to take a test which the managers or supervisors answered for us and that was that, right? Ha nope. The General Manager of the Food Court has been going around asking different workers questions so today my manager printed up a little worksheet thingy that had the different rank insignia and titles for each one and how to address them. In the very beginning of the worksheet is says and I quote "When in doubt address them as 'Sir' or 'Mame'" *smacks forehead* WELL NO DUH!!!!! Gosh this place isTOTALLY RETARDED!!!! I can't WAIT to get outta there! So we didn't get finished up until almost 9 instead of 8:30 but its all good. When I got home as soon as I got in I asked Mom if she wanted to go on a walk around the block with me, which she agreed to do. I also invited my sister Trayci but she said no because she would actually have to find her shoes, ones that weren't sandels haha. Any ways I think that's all for today. :)

changes are coming

Hey ya'll so I've made a personal work chart and one of the things on it is to blog more often so here we go. I'm still on Base HOWEVER I am transferring to Robin Hood Sub Shoppe and Baskin Robins (working both). I was supposed to be transferred already but as usual things are taking FOREVER. Mainly I'm looking forward to decorating cakes again tho I've never done ice cream cakes. And of course the slower pace and less hours. I told the manager that its not about the hours and its not about the money, its about enjoying my time. If I'm still unhappy after transferring then that's it, I'll quit. Another thing on my personal work chart was to work on my online business every day even if its only a little bit. Hopefully I can be out of the work force or at least off base by the new year. HOLY COW it just hit me how close that is!

Oh I just remembered, I celebrated my 25th birthday on the 4th :D It was pretty small and almost got canceled but I decided to pull through and I'm glad I did. I will post pictures later when I'm on a different computer :) Any who I'm really excited for Autumn to get here. It technically begins on the 21st but it wont start here in Vegas until late October or early November. Halloween is gonna be a bust this year haunted house wise since its on Sunday :| oh well. BUT my best friend and I are planning on dressing up as Connie & Carla from this movie



That's right, women dressed as men dressed as women LOL Anyways I think that this is all for me today. I'll post something tomorrow :) G'night

gee wiz

OK yeah its been forever but whatever. I'm still working at the Base. I had an interview at a Mortuary but obviously didn't get it. I have applied at Spirit Halloween superstore and hope I get it!! I mean Halloween is only 99 days away!! I tried to transfer over to a different part of the food court but I found out too late that they were hiring and by the time I talked to the manager she had already stopped looking. *sigh*

July 1 - 5 was my family reunion - it was a blast even though some of the brothers couldn't make it out. Its all right, they have a year to plan for the next one. Those of us who were there early cleaned out the garage so that we could hang out there. Needless to say I have NEVER seen the thing so EMPTY! Even though we didn't get it ALL cleared out we still did a pretty darn good job for one day! We (I) found a few unpleasant surprises but that's to be expected when you're clearing out a basic abandoned building. We threw away TONS of things and were covered in dirt and dust and all sorts of ick by sunset. Just as we were finishing up other family members started to show up. Needless to say it was a blast and I'm super glad we got to enjoy each others company. Mom and Dad and Trenna are staying for the rest of the month, Dad cant stand the Vegas heat. So I've basically been by myself this month - Trayci stayed an extra week than planned because of a back injury and Tyler works early morning while I work nights and then he spends the weekend in Utah with his family. This week he brought Trudi and Trayci with him - its been a very eventful week. Trayci has chickens and when she got back came to the conclusion that some of them had to be culled (killed) because they were sneezing and their breathing was gurgling. She did a lot of research and discovered that this sickness couldn't be cured and was passed down genetically through the eggs. We lost 8 and 3 more are already on the list. Trayci says she'll be surprised if she still has a laying flock by the end of the month. I'll be surprised if she doesn't have to start all over from scratch. Sad but it happens.

So about the beginning of the year this guy asks to talk to me through myspace. I didn't know him but I checked out his profile and he was LDS and cute so I agreed. Sadly the only thing he wanted to talk about was "naughty" things. He kept telling me he really liked me and wanted to get to know me. But I argued that he could like me because he didn't know me and he wasn't even trying. Eventually we decided not to talk so I deleted him from my myspace and my IM but apparently he hadn't because every once in a while he'd pop up and want to "talk". Tonight was such a night and he asked the same stupid questions. This is how the conversation ended

ME: I don't want to hear it. if all you want to do is tell me about it you're barking up the wrong tree

HIM:k

Me: thank you.
why do you still talk to me anyways? I thought you were "giving up on me"

HIM: well i probably am a lil too wild for you

Me: we've already gone over this subject and have agreed that you are. But really the fact is; its not that you're to wild its because you don't want to stop and be good. You're heart isn't even trying to be good. And you want to find someone who has your same beliefs but will be bad with you. It wont always work that way and you will pay a hell of a price for it in the end
see the guy that I've been talking with is a convert so I know hes done wrong things but he's trying to better his life and seeking others that will lift him up, not keep him where hes at.
I know I've probably offended you but honestly that's ok. Because maybe you'll actually DO something about it. you cant be a fence sitter. you must choose
do you understand what I'm saying? Are you even still there?

HIM: i heard ya

Me: ok...are you gonna do something about it or are you just gonna let it go in one ear and out the other?

HIM: in and out

Me: ok. well please remove me from your contact list. I don't want to talk to you again. this...friendship or whatever the hell it is, is over. I honestly hope you have a good life and that one day you decide who and what you're gonna be. I hope that one day you remember not only who you are but WHO'S you are. Bye.

HIM: not a problem


I don't know about you but I feel VERY pleased with myself about how I handled that. *nods* but yeah. So that's about it...I think we've caught up. But even if we haven't its ok.

long time

Ok so uh...I'm back in with the family and was able to move things around to where I can keep my full size bed :D I'm sharing a room with my sister Trenna. I'm not unpacked all the way but still working on it. I requested a week off but I dont know if I got it yet. My neice Madison was baptised this last weekend so the family went up to Utah but I wasnt able to go. I had work and already had plans to attend a birthday party. It was nice to have the house all to myself but then again I hated being alone. This morning I got really freaked out - I got up to answer the phone & the back door was open about a hands width - my brother Tyler who had come home last night had left it open this morning when he left for work. Then I was in the bathroom and heard some really odd noises and so found some sissors and did a walk through. I hate being alone in the house for too long. Ugh.

It has gotten really hot really fast here in Vegas and because of that we had a chicken pass away. But we got 3 new hens and 4 newly hatched chicks so all together counting the rooster we are borrowing we have 31 chickens. Oi!

I dont think I got the job at the mortuary - I need to call to double check. But I want to contiune to look for something else. Work really is becoming a pain in my butt - now there is co-worker drama. I'm getting so tired of it all.

Well thats pretty much it. Until next time

This is so strange. I can publish a post from my cell but my little sister cant

it will get worse before it gets better

due to uncontrollable circumstances I am moving back in with my parents this weekend until I have saved up enough money for the apartment I have my eye on. That means that I'll have to travel to work everyday - blah. However I have applied at 3 different places on that side of town and have a 4th application to fill out and turn in. AND I have an interview on Monday with the Mortuary. I'm not really sure if I want that job but we'll see. I will let you all know the out come

is my world really crumbling around me or am I just being overly dramatic?

So. I made a game plan for working with this PMI/Stores Online thing I'm doing and I had it all figured out. Then my parents mention to me that they had been receiving bills from them, which they shouldn't because its been coming out of my account. So today (after I got the computer dropped off - I had forgotten it) I decide to call them and get this bill stuff sorted out. They say that they have no record of anything coming out of my accounts at all. So I go to my online account and have to figure things out; my credit union was just switched over to a new one. Any ways I finally get to where I can see my account history .... and its gone. All of it except what the new credit union has. So there goes my proof. THEN I decided to just continue on with the lessons, right? I get on and it says "You should not continue this lesson if you have not done the following; set up a business registration process with your state, Applied for state sales tax ID number and Set up a separate bank account for business use." CRAP I haven't done ANY of that. So I stop. Then I get the great idea to write out all that I have left to do....There's a lot. And so now I'm totally discouraged.

Then my friend who I live with wants to know the details/updates...there basically are none. And she reminds me that my living arrangements were only supposed to be temporary. Now I'm stressed and discouraged. She also says that I could afford the apartment by myself if my friend cant move in with me, if I can just get my parents to let me borrow a car to drive out to the Base so that I can work. I agree with this but when I tired to bring it up with my parents, they were distracted and didn't talk long with me. So at this point I was basically at rock bottom. I wanted to call my friend to talk to her about all this but she was in a meeting. I decided to watch a movie with my roommates; Mickey Blue Eyes. I missed my friends call but heard my little sisters call. I talked with her for a long while but at this point I had calmed down. Lately I just feel like anytime I try to do something or grow I come up against a wall. Did I mention I'm M.S.ing" Menstrual Stress + no happy pills = a very overly dramatic & stressed out Neilly.

That's another thing, while my little sister and I were talking the subject of ex's came up. And I told her that I don't really miss HIM I mainly miss what we did together.I miss the relationship. I miss holding hands, snuggling, snogging. I miss the fact that he could carry me, for as long as he could. I miss the fact that I was loved for ME and not for being someone else. Someone my parents want me to be. I was me and I was loved. That's why when my parents try to tell me not to bite my nails or to sit up straight or not to eat so fast/much or to stop all my other "bad" habits I say "No." I'm almost 25 years old, I don't live with you and you can't tell me what to do anymore. Yeah sure I bet there are some men who won't want to be with me because of this or that, no matter what I do. But then when it's all boiled down, I wouldn't be happy with them because I would forever be self-conscience and I wouldn't love myself. I am who I am and somewhere out there is a man who will love me as I am, forever.

more crap for the "fan" pile

ok so at work my all time favorite supervisor Pat has been treated like crap by the other managers and its really upsetting to watch her have to go through that. She had to take a supervisor test and failed it but instead of letting her take it again, they were gonna demote her. She had until the 20th of May. Then on Saturday I go into work and shes there but in a Taco Bell uniform; she'd been demoted AND transferred. And now we're 3 people short. The manager scheduled everyone for 6 day weeks and said "No body be late or call in sick because there isn't anybody that can replace you if you did" UGH! I HATE IT THERE!!! I've been working on an online business but its just in the learning stages now. I hope to be able to get it up and going by the end of June. AND I hope to be moved in with my bestie by the beginning of June. *sigh* if wishes were fishes...

Monday Mayham

On Monday I had a court summons. I got there and had forgotten that I had my manicure kit in my purse so it was searched. The officer asked me to take it out, I said sure and did so. He was talking to another officer and asked me another 3 times to take it out, each time I told him I did. Then I said "its right there." "Oh" he says, "that's it?" "Yeah" "Its so cute and danety. Could you open it up for me?" "sure" "wow that's neat. Ok she's good to go" then i went to the desk and showed my summons; 8th floor, courtroom B. So I get up there and it's like 3 minutes to 8 and I wonder if I should wait or what because the first time I went I was escorted in. After waiting a 1/2 minute I decided to just go in. I sit down and see a chain gang on the left side where the jury would sit. Then ALL RISE! THE HONORABLE JUDGE MARTIN. After a few minutes I think to myself 'wait a minute...' I pull out my court summons and the judges name is Nancy, I look up and see the name plaque says EUGENE MARTIN. 'Oh crap! Am I in the wrong courtroom?! Was it D and not B? Should I leave? But he might call my name! Oh no.' Then he calls out a name and no one answers. "Alright that's a no show for a summons - warrant." I feel my stomach drop. If I'm in the wrong courtroom I'll get a warrant for my arrest! I decide to wait it out and after half an hour he calls my name. PHEW!!! I go up and he says that I'm there for not having Nevada plates and then I say "The vehicle I was driving belongs to my father who has duel residency and was visiting. I have proof of this right here." Dad had made a photocopy of his registration and insurance, his Utah drivers license and Nevada Seasonal Resident ID. I showed this to the state lawyer and after looking it over (I pointed out the addresses for both states) she said it could be dismissed. The Judge said "Alright. And about paying for your speeding ticket..." I cut him off and say "I paid it and have a bank statement stating that it came out of my account." I show this to the state lawyer and then the Judge says "Ok let my secretary see if she can dig it up." then after a few seconds he says "We have no record of it. Its probably in transit. What you'll have to do is go down to the traffic ticket division and get a receipt. It'll take you a while so come back when you're done." So I go back to the main floor and tell the guy at the desk that I just need a receipt for my speeding ticket. He gives me a number and I sit down. When my number is finally called I tell the lady what I need and she says "This is for the Municipal Court, not the Justice Court. He wouldn't have access to our records. You need to get a B number {the one I had was R}." "All I need is a receipt, can you print me something that says I paid it?" "Sure" So she does and then I go back and get a B number. It was B247 and they were serving B081. Needless to say I was there for a LONG time. Then when I got up to the window and told the lady what I needed she said "This is for the Justice Court, not the Municipal Court. You need to get a R number" "I had an R number and she said to get a B number. Look all I need is a receipt, do you think this is good enough to go back with?" I ask showing her the paper the first lady had printed. "I don't see why not..." "Ok thanks" So I go ALL the way back and sit in the back. Then after a few minutes the Marshall comes up to me and says "I need you to move up front." so I move. Then I hear the doors open and I turn to see.....a 5th grade class come in. One of the students father is a lawyer. The Judge talked to them for a bit while some lawyers were getting ready for a case. The class watched a witness testify against a man in custody. Then it was my turn (thankfully the class had left by this time). "Did you get the receipt?" "I think this is it." I hand it to the state lawyer and she looks it over and says "Yes it looks like it was paid in full." "How much was it for?" "$190.00 and a $4.00 fee for paying it over the phone so a totally of $194.00" "Alright, it looks like its dismissed. You're free to go. Have a good day" AND I WAS OUT! LOL PHEW! then I got lost trying to find where I had parked lol but I found it and its all GOOD! Never again will I speed; the speed control is my best friend EVER!!!

Zuzie sings

The following video is of my 2 1/2 year old god daughter Azura Jade. She was born the same day my dad had heart surgey in July. Anyways she's super smart and super cute. She's a bit tired so she gets kinda crazy at the end. And you can hear her mom, Teresa, my best friend and roomie talking in the background. Teresa is the one who taught Zuzie all the songs. I love it hope you enjoy!

hurry up and wait.

ok so long time no post; been kinda preoccupied. Last Friday I went to the chiropractor to have a readjustment, it was BEAUTIFUL!!! Then I went back to my parents house to pick up my dad because he said that he wanted to go to the bank with me. So I picked him up and we weren't even at the end of the street when he turned to me and said " Circle K has sodas for 79cents." "who said I was buying you a soda?" "I'm letting you use my vehicle aren't I?" "Fine. How do I get there..." So we go a back way & we're getting a soda and there's this creepy white guy awe-galing at me. Now just for the record, Yes I do like creepy but a good creepy like oh that'd be cool for Halloween or something of the like. Like The Addams Family. But this guy was bad creepy like "follow-you-from-the-store-to-your-car-but-keep-walking-after-you-get-in" creepy; he was wearing a wife beater that wasn't white anymore and had a skull tattoo that was probably done by a drunk/high friend. Anyways He complimented me on my big red sunglasses and naturally I said thank you because, lets face it - these sunglasses are awesome. Then I paid for the sodas and we left. I had some traffic maneuvering to do and when that was done I was across the street at the light ready to turn left. Dad & I were just making small talk, ya know, and then I notice 3 people walking across the street, one of which was the creepy dude. He saw me and STOPPED TO TALK TO ME! In the middle of the street, standing on the cement median. He said "You know, you're too cute for that car." "Yeah well its my dads car." I say pointing at my dad hoping that would make him go away. It didn't. "I like your earrings." at which I have to quickly think what earrings am I wearing? Oh yeah my little pirate skull studs. "Thanks" "you a skull chick?" "yeah but I'm picky, cant be too creepy." "yeah me too." he says then turns his arm to show me the obvious skull tattoo on his arm "yeah that's nice" I lie and he says its the first one he got done. Then repeats that I'm too cute for the car and then asks "So are you married, divorced? Single, in a relationship?" "I'm not on the market." I firmly state. "Yeah I don't like relationships, they're *messed up. I just hook up with my friends friends." *edited I nod and the light turns green "well," I say brightly "I gotta go. BYE!" and I drive away. Then I gag and say "SEE THAT DAD!? THAT is why I'm not married or in a relationship. Because THAT is all I get! The creepy white guys or the black or Hispanic guys that are all like 'hey baby' UGH! No!" He just kinda chuckled. This whole time he was quite. I think he was mainly amused but having him there made it 10x worse but also 10x funnier.

So at work my all time favorite supervisor Pat had a test to take and if she failed it, she'd be demoted even though other people can take it as many times as they need to to pass. She said if she was demoted, she'd leave. And on Friday she took it...and failed. So shes working on transferring.

I am currently saving for an apartment to move into, closer to my family, around June-ish. Hopefully my best friend will be able to move in with me but its all still really if-y. I am also working on an online business. Oh speaking of that, dad left his air card with my eldest sister Trudi in Utah and so I was gonna work off the land line at my house. I set it up but it wont go online. My friends husband looks at it and after a while figures out it wont work because my dads lap top isn't equipped for land line but the wireless is all decked out. So I was super bummed and told my dad that I'd have to work on it at his place. Then I was setting it up on the dinning room table to watch a movie when I remembered my little sister Tristen telling me about an Application that could be downloaded onto my Droid Eris that would make it a wireless router. so I called her and asked her about it and got the name of it. I downloaded it and sure enough, I'm online BABY!!! I <3 my cell phone. It also charges while its plugged into the computer to make it internet accessible. It's awesome. Anyways that is all for now, must get started with the other job.

Happy St. Patrick's Day

Needless to say mine was AWESOME!

It's coming full circle

Being in contact with him still became to much today. I can't take it any more so I deleted him, his sister and his mother from my facebook. Myspace and my cell are next

new cell phone

Things have been pretty crazy lately lol but the main thing is I got a new cell phone, from which I am making this post!!! Needless to say I'm in love with it lol. Also I bought myself a new full size mattress and box spring for under $200.00!!! Ahhh life is good right now. But this is all for now, for I've got errands to run :D

its becoming too much (warning: langage)

OK so Thursday night was super fun; goofed around with Ashley and Johnny. Laughed so hard after running that I started to gag.

But on a more serious note - the knots in my shoulders from working at Charley's have gotten so bad and so big that they are messing with the nerves to my hands. My right hand seems to be affected most - if I pick something heavy up or use it with pressure aka writing I get a tingly sharp numb feeling in it. but its actually gotten worse; this morning just holding the fork at breakfast, my hand was going numb. Then as I walked to work I was on my cell with my little sister and just holding the phone to my ear my hand was going numb. BUT what is even better is that my left hand is showing signs as well. I have woken up in the middle of the night with my hand painfully numb from just laying on my side, doesn't matter which side. I need to get a message and see a chiropractor.

THEN at work a certain Chief Helms is coming...I don't know who he is but apparently he's big stuff because the whole food court is in an up roar. This just makes me roll my eyes. I really don't give a rats ass about all this bull shit. One of these days I'm gonna take a piece of ham with my bare hand and shove it into my mouth in front of cameras AND the managers I hate and say "You've got a HUGE stick up your ass!! You treat your best employees like shit and you run this place like Nazis. And to you and yours I say PISS OFF!"

Then today my sister Trayci and I took our pets, her cat Gulliver and my dog Biggles to The Lieds Animal Control Center and paid a total of $20.00 to have them put to sleep. I cried almost from the moment I got in the house to the moment I got back. I made a frame from clay and put his paw prints in it. Then mom held him as I clipped his nails, he was pretty good for the whole ordeal, at which point I began to cry. Then I gave him a bath and dried him off. He was running around all happy and I began to cry again. Then when I pulled out the leash he got all excited, I felt HORRIBLE! I walked him about 2 houses down and across and back while I waited for Trayci to come out with Gulliver. I opened the back door and he hopped in and then I put Gulliver next to him on the seat. And he STAYED there! The WHOLE way! He has NEVER done that. EVER! He was always from window to window to front to back to window to window and back again. But he was such a good dog. I cried some more. I don't know what to do with his brush or his bedding or the leashes ... I put his collar on the frame along with a tag that I made. I wish I knew where his original tag was... They said that he most likely had cancer because of the lump on his chest and the lumps on his muzzle. And he was going blind and deaf and I'm pretty sure he had arthritis and he stank so bad. I don't even know how old he was. We got him as a stray in 1997. 13 years. I miss him already. I don't know if I ever want to get a pet again.

just watch lol

I WANNA SEE IT SO BAD!!!

SOOOO EXCITED!!!

NEED I SAY MORE?!

blah

i need to find something in my everyday life that i can be like "yeah, this is mine. I bought it or its freakin awesome ..." i dont know it just feels like im lacking something fun wise you know? I need a lot of computer time with photoshop and a printer... got plans for my old girls camp sweater :D i'm totally rambling but isnt that what blogs are for? oh hey if anyone is reading this check out this blog: thesleeptalkinman...very funny but not intended for children or faint of heart

yet again

so i was sick since before christmas and i JUST got better last week and guess what!? I babysat my nephews and im sick YET AGAIN! UGH! I hate being sick!!!

Rainy Days

It's raining today - I distinctly remember waking in the early morning (i know it was early morning because I didn't go to bed until 3:40 :}) and hearing the rain beat out its heartbeat on the roof. I do love the rain and I think it's pretty amazing that it's been raining so much here in Vegas. I think this is the thrid week it's rained. Pretty amazing really. Love it :D just wish I had brought an umbrella with me for my weekend stay at mom and dad's.

trouble sleeping

soooo....I don't have a bed. Just a full bed frame and a twin size air mattress where the bed should be...sometimes I sleep on the couch. But sleeping on the air mattress really sucks because if it's not too hard then it's too soft and I get really weird cold sweats...don't know what that's all about. I NEED TO FIND A FULL SIZE MATTRESS AND BOX SPRING FOR CHEAP!!!!! UGH!! If you can help that'd be AWESOME!

another 4 letter word

SO! as many as you know I finally have a job after almost 2 years of unemployment {and looking back on it now I was stupid not to get unemployment pay}. The main reason I took this job was because out of all the applications I turned in they were the only ones that called me back after the interview stage. Anyways its called Charley's Grilled Subs and its in the BX (Base Exchange)and its on the Nellis Air Force Base. I currently live on Base with my friend since High School; Teresa, her husband Chris and their two beautiful and adorable children(who are my god-children), Azura and Korbin. I was hired about a week before Christmas as intermittent which is less than part-time but more than seasonal. It's the highest paying job I've ever had but because my hours are crazy it's not panning out as well as I'd first thought. But then again, I HATE working in the food biz and it gets CRAZY busy there so I'm actually very glad that I'm not working as much. I had my first 8 hour day on Monday...not cool. I walk to and from work but that day it was more of a walk to work, limp home. Since starting I've had huge knots in my shoulders and my feet are getting more and more sore. Yes, I know that I shouldn't be complaining and that I should be thankful for the job that I have. And I am, but that also gives me the right to complain about it. I really don't see myself working there past summer...it's just not meant for me or my sanity. The whole "YOU CAN SPREAD DISEASE!!!!" crap bugs the HELL outta me. In my opinion that's why everyone is so sick! They're too scared to get sick so they take all of these precautions and that's why they're sick! Their immune system SUCKS! COME ON!! Rub some dirt in it! Build your immune system! GEEZ! *rolls eyes* yeah that's why I hate the food biz...can't stand it. That and shopping carts...so I'm screwed. UGH I hate working. I need a sugar daddy that doesn't want anything in return but attention. lol I'm crazy - I know.

glad to help

So yesterday my friend, Ashley and I hung out. After I dropped her and her little girl off we were texting each other and she seemed to be a little sad. Then after not hearing from her I text her and then received the following "Not ok have pani c ata k on bath flor not enuf aiq c get sam" needless to say I freaked out. As soon as I got permission to take the car I was over there. Sam (her husband) opened the door and together we found her sitting on the bathroom floor wrapped in a towel, shaking. After a few minutes like this I called my dad and had him and my brother Tyler come over and give her a blessing because she doesn't know her home teachers are. We helped her up and then I helped her get dressed and by the time that was done my dad & Tyler were there. The results were almost immediate. She started to come around and asked for a paper & pen to write to us that she needed to cook Sam something to eat. I said that I'd do it - to which she objected but I insisted. While I was cooking she came out of the bedroom (we'd put her to bed) and whispered to Sam that when I was done she wanted to talk to me. So I went into her room and we sat on the bed and talked FOR HOURS! It really was great. I'm so glad that I kind of knew how to react in this kind of situations because of my handicap sister Trenna and also my oldest sister Trudi is claustrophobic. Needless to say I didn't get home until like 1:55 am and then mom came out and I explained to her what had happened so I didn't get to bed until like 2:30.

THEN I was asked by my favorite supervisor to write a statement about the crappy way she is treated at work. I'm honored to do anything I can to help her because she is truly a one of a kind person and she is AWESOME!!!

fun day

so I'm yet again spending the weekend with my parents...after being on the computer for a bit I got off and said "ok bathroom time for me and I'm taking this with me" as I grabed my duffle bag (on my way to shower). My sister Trayci looks up at me with her eyebrows raised and asks "you coming back?" lol nice. Then I spent HOURS with Ashley and we had a BLAST!!! lol so much fun! loved loved loved it! WE NEED TO DO THIS MORE! Plus the fact that I dont get out much so I was CRAZY lol but Ashley shares in my craziness lol. but yeah its late and i gotta wake up early in the morning for Church so this is all I shall write besides...."I'm looking for Ray Finkle....and a clean pair of underpants." LOL hearts

No More, Now, Someday

No more -
no more will I feel his arms around me.
No more will our lips hover over each other
sending chills and thrills through me.
No more will I look up into his face
and see the beauty hidden there.
No more will our fingers intertwine.
No more will my fingers trace his skin,
finding the softest spots
or the strange curves or the outline of his tattoo.
No more will my phone connect me to him.
No more will I hear him say "I love you".
No more will I plan my life with him.

Now -
now my heart stumbles
at everything that reminds me of him.
Now I cry at the drop of a hat.
Now I hate that I still love him.
Now I hate that I want him back.
Now I hate that I dont.
Now I feel reduced back to nothing.
Now I feel less than I was.
Now I have a hard time watching movies or
listening to music without remembering him
or thinking of my current state.
Now I have to find out who I am
and what I really want.
Now I leave behind the life
I had waited my whole life to have.

Someday -
someday I will get over him.
Someday I will move on.
Someday I will be able to think about him
and not have my heart hurt.
Someday I won't cry over him.
Someday life wont remind me of him.
Someday another will find me.
Someday I will have everything I ever wanted.
Someday I will be free of this heartache.
Someday I will be happy again.

on my own

ok so to start out I think I'll give ya a brief fyi. I'm 24, LDS, single and I work on the Air Force Base though I'm not in the Air Force. I live with my friend and her husband and their two beautiful children who are my god kids. As for anything else you'll just have to keep reading as I post.


Work was crazy today - we had a rush 10 minutes before closing and they were all from England. My shoulders are so sore from this job its not even funny! I need to find someone who'll gently coax the knots out. I've had these knots for weeks now. Also I've been sick since Christmas - SO not cool. It just seems to stick around.

Its been raining here in Vegas for a few days now, which is unusal. But I love it! As long as I dont have to walk in it with my arms full of stuff which I had to do today. NOT FUN!

Last night my self standing closet collapsed, no way of fixing it because it cracked the plastic. So I took it back today and got one that was 3 times as expencive. *sigh* I'll be putting it up tomorrow.

Ok I think thats good for now. Leave comments or not. Which ever, dont care right now. too tired.